Gizmo's Gone

He passed away half an hour ago, in my mum's arms, after waiting all day for her to come home from work. The Pet Cremation service just came to take him, and will bring his ashes back to us on monday.

I miss him already.

Cat's rights.

I.... keep looking at Gizmo. Sometimes I just look at him because I can, because I know that pretty soon there'll be no Gizmo to look at. Where he is laying will simply be an empty space, his food bowl and water bowl won't be on his cat shaped food mat, his litter tray won't be in the downstairs toilet room. There'll be no sign of a cat living in this house, like there has been for the past 16 years.

His back legs are giving way when he stands, he has an infection in his eyes because he won't lay anywhere else I put him. Only near the radiator, which is near a drafty door. He has stopped eating, and that means he has stopped trying to live. I think I need to make the decision not to let him deteriorate any further. I was hoping that I wouldn't have to make that decision until after Christmas and my birthday, but for all I want to keep him here, it isn't fair to him.

I keep thinking, though, that I have this choice. The choice not to let my cat suffer. But Simon doesn't have the choice to ease his father's suffering. Why is it "humane" for a cat to be put to sleep when their body fails or gives up through old age, but human's have to live with being vegetables, with organs that wont work, or with bodies that can't work?

It seems to me, that I have more rights for my cat, than Simon has for his dad. And that's wrong. Human's are so scared of death, that trying to stop it from happening ends up being their life.

Language Barrier

I recieved this in an e-mail, and it made me laugh. Lots. Yes, I suppose people fom here really do speak like this....

Summatup? - Is there something troubling you?
Parnta marld - A glass of dark beer
Arfa Larga - A smaller glass of beer of continental origin
Canaborryit? - May I borrow it?
It's marnanall - I am claiming joint-ownership
Shurrup orral bray yer - I recommend that you stop talking immediately
Yer for-ever mernin' - You do complain a lot
Ayer gorra bruvva? - Have you got a male sibling?
Watsyer bruvva carled? What is his name?
Ner smurkin' - You are not allowed to smoke
Arm off erm now, tarrar - An indication of imminent departure
Stop balling yered off! - Be quiet!
Mimmams gunner chowatmi - I shall be in severe trouble with my mother
She's rurin' ered off - She is very upset
Urmanaway - Australian Soap Opera
Fern Curls - Telecommunications. See also Curdlessferns
'Ull Derly Merl - Local newspaper
Goangerided - Invitation to play a game of Hide and Seek
Giz a croggie - Request for a ride on the crossbar of a bicycle
Radiur Umbersard - Local radio station
I gorrit for nowt - I did not pay anything
It dunt tek farvs - This vending machine will not take my 5p coin
Boyziz - Local chain store
Serp on a rerp - Cleansing bar on a string(soap on a rope)
Me owsiz on fiyer darl narn narn narn - My house is ablaze. Please alert the emergency services.
Arfarted - Lack of commitment, or "I have broken wind"
Worrawolly - I feel this person has made a fool of himself
I'll bray yer eddin' - I may become agressive
I'll clip yer lug 'ole - Do be quiet
Shut yer cake 'ole - as above
There's nur snur on the rurd - The road is clear of snow
I'm mafted - I'm rather hot
It's mafting - It's rather hot
It's siling down - It's raining

*giggles*

Keys to the Renault

I went to the shops today and half way there I spotted a set of car keys on the path. I decided to leave the keys there so if the person who lost them retraced their steps they would come across them. But 45 minutes later during my walk back, I noticed that the keys were still there. Picking them up I pointed them towards at least two cars and pushed the button until one finally beeped, I realised I had two choices. Leave the keys and let the kids playing in the street find them, potentially taking the car and getting into trouble, or knock on some doors to see who they belonged to.

The first door I knocked on a man answered, well built with a goatee. He was very defensive at first (not knowing me and all) so I asked him if the Renault belonged to him and he said "yes, why?". I held the keys up and immediately his demure changed. He was extremely grateful and couldn't stop thanking me.

Now, to me, doing that was no big deal, but everyone I have told so far has said they never would have done it. I guess I don't understand why? What's wrong with returning keys to their owner if the effort was minimal? It was common sense really. Keys, car, house....

There's no wonder the world has such problems if simple acts of kindness are a scary thing to imagine. Perhaps it's gotten to the point where people are more comfortable with being violent to one another rather than being kind?

Such Pretty Colours!

I'm so sleepy!

I have Cystitis, yet again, but because I'm allergic to the strongest antibiotic that gets rid of it, my doctor has given me the maximum dose possible of another antibiotic.... and it's knocking me out!

I have to take one 100mg tablet four times a day. That means I'm sleepy allllll day. And I end up in this state of idiocy where I just feel limp and stare. It's hilarious.

Today I short changed a customer by £2 pounds, fell over an empty cola bottle on the bus, put my colleagues fleece jacket on instead of my own (he's a man and much, much larger than me), burnt my tongue on my bosses cup of tea because I thought it was my cup of water, and sent the wrong text to the wrong person.

I am *so* blaming the tablets. It's their fault that I'm more ditzy than normal, right? Right? Right!

It so is!

Seven 3rds.

So, it's November, the fireworks are banging every night leading up to the 5th. At work we stood quietly inside the shop, watching as the firework display at the marina a few streets away made the sky look glittery. So many colours! Pinks and blues and greens and yellows!

They were pretty.

I haven't stood and watched fireworks in years. I haven't particularly enjoyed bonfire night either. I tend to stay indoors where there is only muffled hissing and whizzing and banaging.

I suppose it's nice though. There's something amazing about total strangers, hundreds of them, standing around a fire. All watching in awe as the sky lights up with every colour you can imagine. The cold air (that smells of hot dogs) making your breath look like smoke as you speak.

I haven't enjoyed bonfire night for seven years because each time, I remember that just two days before this celebration, I had lost my best friend.

This year it's 7 years, last year it was six, the year before that it was five. Time passes, and you deal with it. But when it comes up to that time of year, you can't help the memories filtering through your head. The laugh. The smile. The eyes. The hair. The clothes. The machines. The crying. The swelling. Knowing the person they were.... wishing you could know the person they were to become.

I won't attend a firework display this year, either. But who knows. Maybe in another 7 years I'll be ready.

Leave a Message

Sometimes, when the phone rings and I have a sense that it is my Auntie Maria calling, I don't answer it just so I can hear the funny message she will leave on the answering machine........ then I'll ring her back.

:-)

Knock Knock

Is this reality?

Is this the life I had when I got on a plane two weeks ago and left everything behind?

Well, I'm going to change that and that and that and.... yep, that too.

My holiday was fantastic, my uncle's 30th birthday was absolutely amazing, my tan is, uh, peeling, my head is clear and I feel refreshed.

I always used to say that I couldn't live somewhere other than England, but I admit I have changed my mind. I could live in Lanzarote. We hired a car for four days and travelled around the island. We saw things that, as a tourist, you don't get to see on day trips or excursions. We had a foam party with the locals, we fished on a catamaran, we went to Lanzarote's highest point and saw the surrounding islands in all of their beauty, we drove through villages, we learned new words in Spanish, we made new friends, we swam in the sea watching as the sand engulfed our toes through the crystal clear waters. We laughed, we danced, we sang, we ate.... a lot.

My uncle Simon turned 30 while we were away, so my mum joined us during our second week to celebrate with us. That day we had the hire car (which was a new Vauxhall Astra!) and visited Papagayo beach. It was very picturesque, set in an alcove with clear blue sea and white sand. After that we went to see Famara, a famous surfing destination with views of cliffs and neighbouring islands. My uncle was living a dream, these were two places he had never managed to visit during his three previous trips to Lanzarote. We then went back to our apartment to shower and dress up in our best clothes, then headed out to a three course meal in an amazing Spanish restaurant. His day was perfect, I'm glad I was there with him.

I did, however, come home to recieve some terrible news. I'm just letting it sink in at the moment. While I have been away, escaping from reality, my friends have been here, dealing with it. I hope my break has given me the strength they need for me to help and support them.

I have more to say, and shall update more (and add pictures), but I have been up since 4am, and travelling for 8 hours. Perhaps it's bedtime for me? Or more cuddles with my cat, Gizmo.... plus I need to apply aftersun to my lovely golden tan *smug* teehee!

Going Nowhere

Sooooo there's a new TV show I like. It's called South of Nowhere. It's about a family who move from a small town in Ohio to Los Angeles (not that that makes much difference to me, I'm from the UK. Uhraaa!). Anyway, the family has a daughter who is figuring out her sexuality with the help of her "friend", they have opposite personalities, hopes and dreams, but that only makes their on screen relationship more compelling.

I must admit that I like watching a TV show with lesbian characters. I guess maybe that's because it's nice to sit and watch a story that has people like me in it. Where you can be immersed in the plot without thinking "eww that dude has too much hair on his chest". Yes, that's what it is.... I don't like hairy chests.

The actresses are obviously very gorgeous, as actresses tend to be these days, so there is the eye-candy factor too.

Annnnnnd on another topic, tomorrow I'll be getting on a plane to be somewhere else for two weeks. I don't feel excited now my holiday is here, I just feel nervous. I really do hate planes, and flying.... flying planes!

So I shall take a deep breath (takes deep breath) and then breathe out (breathes out) and think about all the lovely sun and sangria and sea I'll be surrounded with while I'm there.... oh, look at that I feel better.... oh no, no I thought of flying planes again....

Well, off I go. There's a case that needs to be filled with things that I probably don't need but won't realise until I get there. I hope everyone is well and stays safe.

Goodbye blog!

Tattoo Pictures!

Laying there getting it done. Ouch!

The result

My sister's tattoo

I Did It!

I got the tattoo yesterday. It's a little larger than I realised, but I like it.
My little sister also got the same tattoo on her back, going down her spine.
Considering I knew that a man was going to be dragging a needle down my skin, I wasn't the slightest bit frightened. My sister was, though, and I suspect I was putting on a brave face for her. When we got to the tattoo studio she wasn't sure that she would go through with it, but once she saw that I was able to do it (and I fibbed a bit and said the pain wasn't too bad) she got up the courege to do it.

Now we are forever marked with our sister's name. She better like it lol!

I will post pictures soon.

Tattoo!

I made a model of what my tattoo will look like. It says "Gemma" in the first two characters, then in the bottom two it says "Angel". I have checked and checked, and they seem to be the right characters.... so all being well, I'll have this done by the end of next week.

White Wedding

It wasn't a very nice day for a White Wedding yesterday as the weather was windy and wet, the wedding went ahead anyway and my cousin, Beccy, married her boyfriend, Vinny. The wedding was nice, boring though, as they tend to be. She giggled through her vows and that set off the groom, resulting in everybody giggling. That's a nice way to start a life together though, isn't it? Giggling.

As I sat and tried to make myself comfortable on the big wooden benches, I noticed two girls turning and looking at me. It was quite unsubtle, but I just ignored it. There were a lot of family members I hadn't seen in a while (my family is huge!) and I just suspected these two girls may be family I didn't recognise.

When the vows were over and the papers had been signed, I started making my way out of the church with the crowd of people who had attended, I heard someone say my name quite sheepishly, so I turned to see who it was. It was one of the two girls that had been staring at me. (I say girls, but they were in their 20's). Quite rudely I couldn't figure out who the person was, so I asked if I knew them and their reply was "I hope so". And then it clicked, this person did look familiar, well she should, she was one of my closest friends in school!

Katie, her name is. The last time I saw Katie was on the last day of school. It was a shame, but we were both going through a very hard time and simply lost touch. Well, now we have swapped numbers and have arranged to meet up to talk about old times. But what are the odds that she would be friends with my cousin, and neither of us know it?

Have you ever wished you could turn back the clock simply so you could jot down someone's number before you both got lost in the mess that was your lives? Well I always used to think that way with Katie. Her and I always just clicked with one another, and even though six years had passed between us, it only seemed like 6 minutes.

I am so glad we finally bumped into each other. Now I will never have to wonder what happened to her, because I will know, because she is my friend again.

Keep Austin Wierd!

Look look look! Look what my friend deeb gave to me. *spaz* She sent it in a big box, in a pink bag with a bow on, and with a postcard/letter thing inside too! The box was a bugger to get into though. *glares at deeb* teehee! Deeb is great!

I owe her lots of chocolate.

Haircut by a Stranger?

I was sitting in Trinity Square waiting for someone to arrive at 10:30 this morning, and while I was waiting I decided to reply to a text. Because I was replying to a text I wasn't paying attention to the girl making her way towards me. By the time I had sent the text the girl was sat beside me with a nervousness about her that made me wonder.

She then proceeded to tell me, blushing all the while, that she had recently qualified as a stylist and was looking to gain more clientele, and she would therefore give me a free hair cut.

What? WHAT? What do I say to that? lol!

The best I could muster was that I was growing my hair so that I could have it cut into a style before I went on holiday. She nodded her head, then stood and walked off, so I shouted her back and said that if she had a business card, or gave me her number, I would gladly give it to my friends as a sort of word-of-mouth thing. She beemed at me and gave me her number, then proceeded to walk off, leaving me there in shock.

Why do these odd things always happen to me?.... Not that I mind because she was incredibly beautiful.