I.... keep looking at Gizmo. Sometimes I just look at him because I can, because I know that pretty soon there'll be no Gizmo to look at. Where he is laying will simply be an empty space, his food bowl and water bowl won't be on his cat shaped food mat, his litter tray won't be in the downstairs toilet room. There'll be no sign of a cat living in this house, like there has been for the past 16 years.
His back legs are giving way when he stands, he has an infection in his eyes because he won't lay anywhere else I put him. Only near the radiator, which is near a drafty door. He has stopped eating, and that means he has stopped trying to live. I think I need to make the decision not to let him deteriorate any further. I was hoping that I wouldn't have to make that decision until after Christmas and my birthday, but for all I want to keep him here, it isn't fair to him.
I keep thinking, though, that I have this choice. The choice not to let my cat suffer. But Simon doesn't have the choice to ease his father's suffering. Why is it "humane" for a cat to be put to sleep when their body fails or gives up through old age, but human's have to live with being vegetables, with organs that wont work, or with bodies that can't work?
It seems to me, that I have more rights for my cat, than Simon has for his dad. And that's wrong. Human's are so scared of death, that trying to stop it from happening ends up being their life.
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2 comments:
Oh Gemma.
You are doing the right thing, I know how hard it is, and how empty a space it is without them around. Our animal friends are a blessing. Please say good bye to Gizmo and thank him (again) for me for passing on my message to Bean. Poor guy. I hug you Memmy. I am so sorry and you are *so* brave.
You are right, I think, about human vs animal rights. It seems clear to me. I hug Simon too.
db
*Hugs* and *Jugs* Gemma. My thoughts and prayers are with you, Gizmo, your mum, and Simon sweetie. I do wish and have been in the position to want those same options for family members that we are given for our pets. Anyway, I'm here if you need me.
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