Thursday, April 19, 2007

All About the WITIK.

Sigh. I'm going to amend this because there are one or two words that weren't deserved and were not fair, at least.

I have been biting my tongue. Keeping this in so as not to "hurt" you anymore than you claimed I did. But, I've come to the conclusion that I didn't. How could I? How could I have hurt you when I was with you? When I was talking to you, when I was texting, sharing, living, laughing.... with you? How? Please tell me that, because I don't know.

I've come to the conclusion that I didn't.

I want you to acknowledge that you're a cowardly fucker! I want you to know what you did wrong, god knows you didn't have a problem putting all the blame on me.

I'm not perfect. I know that and I readily took responsibility for things I knew I could have done differently. As for the things I didn't know? Well, I blame you for those because you didn't tell me what they were. And don't give me the excuse "I felt like I couldn't tell you how I felt for fear of losing you". That is no excuse at all, because if you thought you could lose me over something like that, then you would have know I wasn't worth it anyway. Or perhaps that's why you "stopped yourself from falling for me"? Because, to you, I wasn't worth it.

Point A) You flirt with anything that moves because you like the attention. That made me insecure.

Point B) You tossed me aside and expected me to still be your friend.

Point C) I have absolutely no idea what goes on in your head. Be your friend? After that? Would you?

Point D) You never asked me anything. Anything at all. I would have told you. You know that. I had told you many times to just ask, I also remember telling you that asking was a part of getting to know one another better. Ha, no.... not you. You don't ask then go find somebody else because you didn't have the answers you wanted.

Point E)It seems to me that you thought of nothing but your own feelings. How everything affected you. What I was supposedly doing to you. It never occurred to you that you were doing wrong by me?

Point F) You disregarded my feelings completely. You were so busy looking out for yourself that you never stopped to consider what would happen if you were wrong.

Point G) If you had stopped feeling anything for me three months ago, then why on earth did you let me send you a valentines card? Which was in FEBRUARY?! With something that was personal to me in it? The card said you were special, yet you said you had no indications from me?

Point H) You gave me no chance.

Point I) You have a million excuses for your actions. An answer for everything. Well then, answer me this. How could you have even entertained the notion of falling for me if I was so difficult to live with?

Point J) Why only tell me you had stopped yourself from falling for me when you were "becoming involved with someone else"?

Point K) I'll tell you why, because you were secure in the thought that as soon as you dropped me, you had someone else to run to. You didn't want to rock the boat until you were certain this someone else liked you also.

Point L) When I quit my job and needed you most, what did you do?.... Answer: This.

Point M) You expected me to share my feelings with you, but you didn't share yours with me.

So these are my points. These are what I think. These are all the things you have made me think of you because of your words and actions. These are why I can't be your friend now. Although, I would really like to know how you expect me to be your friend, after everything? I mean, sure, we talked for a year, but if this is the outcome of all that time, what is there to salvage?

And if I was so bad to you, why would you want to be friends with me anyway?

Beats me.