Thursday, February 26, 2009

Unfortunate Name Game

I heard on the radio today someone mentioned something or nothing about unfortunate names. Other than my last name being hard for people to grasp (it's really simple, but people want to put a 'D' in it) I'd say I was fortunate considering the possibilities. Here are some of them....

Unfortunate names from the UK:
Stan Still
Helen Back
Doug Hole
Tim Burr
Rose Bush
Pearl Button
Will Power
Barry Cade
Mary Christmas
Chris Cross
Teresa Green
Ray Gunn
Jo King
Sonny Day
Justin Case
Lee King
Max Power and
Anna Sassin

Unfortunate names in the US:
Bill Board
Anna Prentice
Annette Curtain
Carrie Oakey and
Russell Sprout

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Wee Willie Winkie

I often wonder if anyone else's parents sang this nursery rhyme to them when they were younger?

I remember often times I didn't want to go to bed. So my mother would say "Right, that's it! Willie Winkie's coming for you!" or even if I was taking too long to get into bed she would say "Hurry up! Quick! He's coming!" so I would scurry into bed and pretend to be aleep. Sometimes I could have sworn I saw him peeping through the window to make sure I was tucked up in bed. Which is rediculous because my bedroom was on the second floor!

Wee Willie Winkie runs through the town,
Up stairs and down stairs in his night-gown,
Tapping at the window, crying at the lock,
"Are the children in their bed, for it's past ten o'clock?"

"Hey, Willie Winkie, are you coming in?
The cat is singing purring sounds to the sleeping hen,
The dog's spread out on the floor, and doesn't give a cheep,
But here's a wakeful little boy who will not fall asleep!"

Anything but sleep, you rogue! glowering like the moon,
Rattling in an iron jug with an iron spoon,
Rumbling, tumbling round about, crowing like a cock,
Shrieking like I don't know what, waking sleeping folk.

"Hey, Willie Winkie - the child's in a creel!
Wriggling from everyone's knee like an eel,
Tugging at the cat's ear, and confusing all her thrums
Hey, Willie Winkie - see, there he comes!"

Weary is the mother who has a dusty child,
A small short little child, who can't run on his own,
Who always has a battle with sleep before he'll close an eye
But a kiss from his rosy lips gives strength anew to me.

Scary stuff for a kid!

Friday, February 20, 2009

Snoring Bastard!

I visited my Auntie Maria this evening after work just to see if she was any better. She has developed a cyst under her eye that is going to need an operation to remove, and after her stint in hospital during her recovery from a brain haemorrhage, she's obviously nervous about go back.

Anyway, during my visit my uncle (Maria's husband) kept complaining that his arm was aching, and that it had only started when he got out of bed that morning. A little later when he left the room, Auntie Maria turned to me and whispered; Gemma, his arm is aching because the bastard keeps snoring and I have to dig him in the arm to shut him up!

Reason 1,243,72 why I love my Auntie Ria.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Where Do Blog Posts Come From?

When I go to bed, I have a little routine to do before I get under the sheets. Washing, brushing, combing, moisturising etc. But when I'm finally settled, I don't read or watch a DVD like most people, I lay there until I drift off. The problem with this is that my mind often wonders to the strangest places, and those places end up being the topic of my blog post the next day.

Guess what? I came up with this blog post last night.

Random fact.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

25 random facts about me!

My friend sent me this in an e-mail, and I can't sleep....

1. I rarely go to bed before midnight

2. I don't know what the right career for me is, I just know it isn't the one I'm in

3. I really wish I was brave enough to go travelling on my own

4. I want to visit as many states in America as possible

5. I fall asleep wearing socks and wake up in bare feet

6. I often dream of the same two people whom I knew during childhood

7. In winter I hybernate

8. There are four homosexuals in my family, but I'm the only lesbian

9. I'm very easily amused and laugh at things other people probably wouldn't find funny

10. I contradict everything anyone ever thinks about me

11. I measure wealth in time, not money. How much time do I have to spend doing what I want, not what someone is paying me to do?

12. I dance around when nobody's about and feel really sneaky afterwards

13. I think there is something off about my best friends girlfriend, but I would never tell my best friend that

14. I'm trained to help people stop smoking, but don't care if they stop or they don't

15. I don't try clothes on in the shop before I buy them. I try them on at home then take them back when they don't fit

16. I can't sleep without feeling the weight of a duvet on me

17. I watch American TV shows such as Bones online before they air in the UK because I'm too impatient to wait for what happens next

18. In primary school me and my friend had a pretend fight in slow motion

19. I love chocolate, but not white chocolate

20. I hate driving but feel pressured to do so

21. I only like reading books that have lesbian characters

22. I don't watch or read the news because it makes me feel sad

23. My nails have to be perfect or I feel dirty

24. Even in summer I wear jumpers because I'm ALWAYS cold

25. I miss my childhood

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Is She or Isn't She....

I'm voting for a leaflet that goes through every letterbox in the WORLD. This particular leaflet needs to explain the significance of a signal between the lesbian population of said world. Such as wearing a ring on a particular finger, or wearing a sign around our necks.... either way, it would be nice to know and not guess.

Because, honestly? Macrina the Incredible seems like a lesbian, but is she?

Monday, February 09, 2009


I finally recieved my birthday present from my friend. It was only a month and a half late! The gift was nice though, it was a box of smelly stuff from a smelly shop named Lush, the smelly stuff is to be used in the shower. There was this thing called an 'emotibomb'. You put it in the shower, turn on the hot water and leave it for a moment, then it dissolves and lets off a really nice scent. I was amazed at how relaxed it made me feel.

There was also this block of.... well, it looks like honey, but that's not what it is. I really have no idea what I'm supposed to do with it.... and some shower gel, which I did know what to do with. Mmmm I smell Lush!

Thursday, February 05, 2009

Weepy, Sleepy, Hungry, Cranky and Hot.

It's menstrual cycle time!

Yesterday I went into work and announced that I had manstrual cramps. Nasty ones. This lead to an almighty 'uh oh' from the four women I work with. I understood why, because for the next week or so there's going to be something wrong with each and every one of us and the two male members of our team will simply pay for it all.

Helen gets weepy, Sam gets hungry, Nikki gets sleepy, Jasmine gets cranky, and me? I get hot flushes.

The boss had an interesting theory about why women in the same vicinity get their periods at the same time. And apparently, according to him, it's so that if one woman is on her period, her boyfriend can't cheat on her with her friend.

I liked that theory. I'm sceptical about it's accuracy, but I liked it.

Tuesday, February 03, 2009

Dude, Where's My Toothbrush?

My roomy had a habit of moving my stuff in the bathroom. My facewash, shampoo, soap and deoderant wiould end up in the drawer above the wash basket. I had asked repeatedly for her not to do this because I don't notice my facewash isn't on the sink until after I've splashed my face with water, or that my shampoo isn't in the shower until my hair is wet. It's damn annoying! Anyway, after asking her over and over not to move my stuff, she still did it. I don't think she did it on purpose, I think she's just lacking storage space in her memory vault.

The last time she did it, I splashed water on my face then reached for my facewash and guess what? Yeah, it wasn't there. I opened the drawer and there it was. Grumpily, I took all of my stuff out of the drawer and put them back where they belonged. I then took all of her stuff, and I mean ALL. Her toothbrush, hairbrush. ALL. And put them in the drawer instead.

The next day I came home from work to a very perplexed roomy. She asked me why her toothbrush and all of her stuff was in the drawer, so I explained. She laughed her arse off. Problem solved. It's been weeks now and my stuff hasn't moved an inch.

I'm sharing this story because just recently she has been making cups of coffee then leaving the wet, sticky spoon on the kitchen counter. When I asked her this morning to at least put it in the sink she replied "uh oh, if I forget, will you hide all the spoons?"

The answer? Yes. That's exactly what I was going to do. LOL!

Monday, February 02, 2009

Scent of a Woman.

Sometimes when you walk past a woman, you get an intoxicating whiff of the perfume she's wearing or of the scent of the shampoo she has washed her hair with.

I understand that sometimes you'd quite like to lose yourself in the scent for a while, take a deeper breath and enjoy it freely without getting a punch in the face or a handbag to the back of the head.... I know that sniffing people is damn wierd, so I don't do it. No matter how good the woman who just walked past me smelt.

I was at work on Sunday, just sitting at the computer playing on Google Earth, when the Pharmacist on duty (29 year old, Portuguese Andre (nice guy, wrong sex)) sat beside me and asked me to Google his village in Portugal. I did. He leaned in to point at something and....




I sort of heard the intake of air a little too close to my ear.

I don't think he realised that I knew what he'd done, but I haven't let him get close enough to do it again. I'm all for men who stay OUT of my personal dance space, Thankyouverymuch!!!!

Sunday, February 01, 2009

Arse Bruises!

The City Council have just resurfaced the footpath at the front of my house. The weather is below freezing, snow, sleet, ice.

Yeah. I slid a full metre before landing flat on my arse right in front of the neighbours house. She opened her window and shouted "careful, it's thick ice out there!"

Thanks luv, you were about ten seconds too late with that piece of advice. lol!!