Saturday, December 27, 2008

Low Key Lesbo.

I was out this evening. Clubbing, pubbing, whatever you wish to call it. The evening was full of camp songs, camp dancing and general merry times. I'm a no drama homo, which means if there's drama you can guarantee I'm not the one who caused it, nor would I have anything to do with it. But.... BUT.

Stacy, the best friend who has just had the gastric-bypass didn't attend this evening's get together, but her girlfriend, Ally, did. Which meant I was on Ally duty. And when Ally got in an altercation with an arrogant lesbian who happened to be four ft tall. Feminine don't-want-to-break-a-nail-but-was-taught-karate-by-her-uncle me, stepped in.

I was dancing to Girls Aloud. Getting my groove WAY on when the four ft tall lesbian CHESTED me. You know when someone bumps their chest against your chest indicating they are threatenening you in some masuline way that isn't really necessary?

Despite the fact that I was taught karate by my uncle, I haven't actually had to use my skills. But four ft tall lesbian chested me AGAIN. So I stuck my foot out behind her legs and pushed.... meaning she fell over my legs and straight onto her back.

Four ft lesbian had no idea what had just happened to her, DJ called security, security took one look at me in my skirt and make-up and concluded that I wasn't to blame. Security told me everything was ok, picked four ft lesbian up off the floor and escorted her out.

Crowd cheered.

Femanine-don't-want-to-break-a-nail-but-was-taught-karate-by-her-uncle me was applauded.

I still have no idea why she got aggressive with ME!

I had a nice Christmas though. The total tally of socks this year is seventeen. Seventeen pairs of socks, that must be a record?

Auntie Maria bought me some plant pots for my Conifer trees (I purchased new ones after the others were stolen. I planted them in the back garden this time). She hid some socks in the bottem of the pots. I'm supressing the urge to have her commited to the mental hospital.

I love her really. More than anything.

I hope everyone had as good a Christmas as I did. :-)
Another two days off from work.

No comments: